The Unbeatable Guide to Staying Broke in the AI Wonderland

The Unbeatable Guide to Staying Broke in the AI Wonderland

Oh, hello there, fellow aspiring paupers of the AI realm! Are you tired of those successful, wealthy tech wizards zooming past you in their self-driving limousines while you struggle to afford a cup of AI-generated coffee? Fear not, my fellow destitute dreamers, for I have compiled the ultimate guide on how to stay firmly planted in the unyielding clutches of poverty within the enchanting world of AI. So gather around, losers, and prepare to embrace your own inadequacy!

1. Embrace Outdated Technology

The very foundation of being a perpetually penniless AI enthusiast is to stick to outdated technology. Why bother with the latest and greatest AI tools and algorithms when you can cling to your trusty, dusty relic from the ’90s? Real innovators spend their days fixing bugs, not reveling in the marvels of progress!

2. Shun Collaboration 

Why share ideas and knowledge when you can hoard them all for yourself? Collaboration only leads to progress, and progress is a curse that befalls those cursed with prosperity! So, avoid those pesky AI meetups, conferences, and online forums like the plague – let others learn from each other while you bask in isolation.

3. Reject Machine Learning

It’s called “machine learning” for a reason – it learns on its own! Why waste time feeding data to neural networks and fine-tuning algorithms when you can stubbornly stick to your old ways? Go ahead, handcraft your software like an old-world craftsman and watch as the world moves on without you.

4. Ignore the Cloud 

Ah, the ethereal and elusive cloud computing. Let those clouds float on, for you prefer the solidity of an aging desktop in your dingy basement. Besides, who needs the convenience of scalable computing power when you can wait for weeks for your primitive hardware to crunch through a simple dataset?

5. Underestimate the Power of Data

Data, schmata! Who needs it? The key to poverty in the AI realm is to make decisions based on intuition and wild guesses. Let others thrive on the vast ocean of data while you flounder in a puddle of your own ignorance.

6. Avoid Continuous Learning

To remain poor in AI, you must eschew continuous learning like it’s an infectious disease. Why bother updating your skills when you can stick to what you learned in your college AI course? Spoiler alert: the world of AI evolves faster than your outdated Python version.

7. Stay in Your Comfort Zone

Wanderlust and curiosity have no place in the realm of the broke AI enthusiast. Stay glued to your familiar territory, and never venture beyond your comfort zone. After all, there’s no treasure to be found outside the boundaries of mediocrity.

So there you have it, the foolproof guide to remaining poor in the mesmerizing world of AI. Remember, while others soar to greatness on the wings of innovation, you can always find solace in the warm embrace of obsolescence and ignorance. And hey, if you ever spot those wealthy AI wizards in their self-driving limos, be sure to give them a big, friendly wave… with your hand sticking out of the window of your clunky, ancient computer!

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